How Depression Took Over My Life for 3 Months

In my previous posts I wrote about how important it is to take time to process and get through your emotions. But I also stated that even though it is important to process your emotions, you shouldn’t dwell on them for too long or else they wills et you back significantly. I plead the 5th; that I did not practice what I preached, which is why I haven’t been consistently posting on my blog for about 3 months.

I want to keep this platform super transparent because like I say over and over again, I started this platform so that girls my age could know for a fact that they aren’t alone on their journeys through their 20’s. I want to tell you all the general gist of what has been going on because most girls are ashamed to admit that certain typical life situations affected them in a significant way. You need to know that what you are going through is normal and if I can prevail from it, then so can you. I am not 100% better but I am doing a lot better than I was 2 months ago.

To keep a very long story, short, I was dealing with a really bad heartbreak. A heartbreak that I was not expecting to affect me the way that it did, let alone even happen in the first place. So yes, I wallowed in that pain consistently everyday for a while, (a really long while). I wallowed so much that the pain became crippling. I know the word ‘crippling’ may sound a bit dramatic, but I promise you this is the only word that pops into my head to describe how I was feeling. I lost all motivation to create anything, thus becoming inconsistent again which made me feel even worse.

The crippling pain of my very unexpected heartbreak plus the guilt of not staying consistent with my content – oh yeah and let us not forget, the stress of being a student (another post will be up for that update, because whew chile…) – was really stopping me from pushing myself out of that depression like I normally can do within about 2 weeks.

With all that being said, I just was not in a good head space to put out any content. I tried a few times to sit down and write but it was like my brain was just completely blacked out. I also felt guilty if I did put out content, where I’m preaching things that I wasn’t currently practicing.

Obviously when you truly love someone those feelings don’t just disappear quickly, so sometimes I still get really sad and I wallow a bit , but not to the point where it’s crippling again. I definitely have more control over my emotions at the moment and this experience has taught me how to have control over my emotions in general. I’ve come to realize that people are going to move on from situations like nothing ever happened, they’re going to get on with their lives and keep progressing, so I shouldn’t dwell. I should do the same; move on with my life.

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