Recently I’ve been super emotional (in a good way) about how much I’ve grown and matured. Thinking about who I once was and who I am now, brings literal tears to my eyes.
Honestly, I have my spirituality to thank for that. Having faith and embracing this journey called life, leaning on a higher power, and a lot of honesty with myself is what I owe this growth to.
In the past, I tried looking to outside things to fulfill me. I thought these things would heal me but really I should have turned inwards. Every single thing that I’ve ever wanted to be or feel was already inside of me. It wasn’t until, I really looked inside of myself, that I gained that sense of fulfillment and purpose.
When I say turn inwards, I mean you have to do the work to heal yourself. You have to acknowledge and then REALLY accept where you are on your journey. It’s going to take time but never get discouraged. It took me about 7-8 months to be able to say that I was in the best mental space that I’ve EVER been in. 7-8 months of sitting with feelings, doing the inner work and being patient with myself.
Now that I’ve learned (I am still learning, I am not perfect and I will forever be learning) how to cope and healed certain parts of myself I can tackle my goals head on because that foundation within myself is set.
I have had so many ups and downs with school. A while back, I finally realized what my major needed to be; graphic design. But when I tried to register for classes I ran into so many obstacles, that ultimately led to me not being able to go back to school.
I was extremely depressed over this. I couldn’t see it then, but I know now that I was blocked from starting school at that time because I was not ready. I couldn’t go back because of a financial aid issue but in reality I was blocked from that because it was not for me at the time. Thinking back on my mindset during all of that, I probably would have dropped out again.
Fast forward to now though, I am registered in classes and instead of trying to rush the process of getting my bachelor’s (which is exactly what I was doing last year) I will be working towards my associate’s in Art and Design (graphic design). Since I’ve already taken all of my general education courses, all of classes that I am taking now are specific to my major and I am so excited. I thought I had 2 more general ed courses but my advisor told me that since I switched my major I don’t need those 2 other courses.
So it all worked out beautifully in the end and that is what comes with the healing process. A lot of good surprises, trust me.
Speaking of surprises, I am also working on starting up a new product based business that is a lot more personal to me than my last one. My heart is in this and I am so excited because it makes complete sense this time around. My last business, I was selling lashes and I don’t even wear lashes all of the time. I never felt emotionally connected to my products and to be honest I knew that while it was happening, but I really didn’t think it was that important because it was business. But it is absolutely true when they say you have to have some type of love or passion for what you’re selling or else the foundation of your business will be unstable. Without a stable foundation things come crumbling down, which it did.
I have the passion for entrepreneurship, that passion never left. In fact I know I was born with it. I was also born with this highly sensitive and emotional personality, and I needed to stop ignoring that and figure out to make the two intersect, which I have now.
So you see it all makes sense now.
I know right now, you can’t see the light but have faith in the process. Faith leaves no room for darkness and fear, it only leaves room for Love and Light. It’s all going to make sense in the end, trust me.