Recently I had a disagreement with someone who was close to me and this person said to me, “You can spread positivity all you want, but you need to face your pain.” Implying, that I am in no shape to spread positivity based off of my own experiences, because I am still learning and healing from old habits and trauma.
But in my last post, I told you all that we are all always going to be healing from something right? Aren’t we always changing and growing? What is so wrong about trying to spread positivity and light for others based off of my own personal experiences?
As you can tell, this comment really messed with my head by kicking that imposter syndrome into gear. Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which people doubt their accomplishments/success, in fear that they will be exposed as a fraud. It’s basically self doubt after you’ve already won.
For a very quick second, I questioned myself in whether I was qualified enough to spread positivity. Sounds ridiculous right? Because it is.
I had to remind myself of my OWN advice; don’t take things personally.
I almost let somebody who could not understand that life is a journey with many highs and lows, cloud my beliefs because they were projecting their own beliefs onto me. 90% of the time when people have something negative to say about something positive, that means that they are insecure about it. They are projecting their own insecurities and that is why you cannot take what people say personally.
It’s disappointing because this was the third person that I had to cut out of my life because they didn’t understand or genuinely accept this improved version of myself. And let me tell you, these were people that I was expecting to have my back forever, ok? I have grown and changed for the better but some of the people who had been in my life through many phases, did not see it like that because they were so accustomed to me behaving a certain kind of way.
This is not to say that I am in any better or higher place than them. That’s not the point I’m trying to make here. With major growth, comes major changes. I am just in a different place and I’ve accepted the fact that not everyone can come with me to this different place. It’s new and uncomfortable for them, I get it.
It’s just sad but sometimes you have to leave people behind in order to continue pushing forward. You come first, remember that.
I did the work, I am not the same girl, and I am the light in the tunnel. And so are you.